After seventy-four days out of his country, or in his home country, Switzerland, Mr Biya returned to La République du Cameroun, which could be generously called his work place for his European employers. More accurately. Mr Biya “was returned”, as he could hardly have chosen to return in such poor health.

The celebration of the triumphal return back-fired as CRTV could not manage to show any images of a vibrant strong Biya to belie all the questions of the reasons for his “short personal sojourn”. They tried their best to be jubilant but they could not. The presenters were dressed as they would when the inevitable unthinkable and utterly unimaginable happens.

As it is he was returned to seclusion and is unlikely to be seen again soon, except some of his wider circle privy to too little information have got carried away and set him up to appear to “lead celebrations” of the “Lionesses’” triumph at WAFCON. The poor patient is now locked in to be wheeled out again for that chore. Someone must now be wishing the cursed “Lionesses” hadn’t won! Will he walk or will he be propped up in a chair?

Judging by the blatant filtering of the images of the “return”, the likely solution will be to restrict images. The honoured guests may have to forgo the use of their smart devices. Just like the “reassurance” that the live coverage of the “return” did not provide, the celebration of the Lionesses will, similarly “not”. As much as RDPC will want to imply that Mr Biya is putting women and youth central in his eighth mandate, the reception is going to be more of a headache than a tonic. Images could leak, and even if they don’t the images that are missing will lead to worse conclusions that any actual real images would. – and even Camerounese are not so gullible that they would attribute the “Lionesses’ ” success to any impulse from Mr Biya. It will smack instead of, for want of a better word, “recuperation”. No, not the English for getting healthier, but the French for “claiming”, which is more pejorative than the former – which could have a place in this drama.

Honesty is always the best policy.

Thank God Ambazonia left when we did! It would be intolerable to endure staged reality.

Maybe Mr Biya’s handlers could have done better staging humility – keeping the “return” as private as the sojourn should have been and only announcing he had returned once he got to the palace. Even better, stage the Lionesses reception to let the “people discovered” that he had indeed returned in a more humble sensible way, as sick man would.

But le Cameroun c’est le Cameroun and even dazzling orange dresses will not detract from reality!