On April 1st, April Fool’s day 2026, La République du Cameroun’s parliament and senate started a joint meeting – called a congress.

Speculation is that Mr Biya has decided to reintroduce the post of Vice-President in La République du Cameroun. Many reaching for the idea that it is to do with the Ambazonian Liberation Struggle, as the VP used to be from West Cameroon.

Given La République du Cameroun’s precarious existence and the numerous conflict raging all sorts of possible uses for the nominations for the VP have been postulated – all apart from the obvious, which is that Mr Biya is seeking a short cut to insert son Frank in an improvised succession ladder.

The Anglo Fool angle.

Given the recent “success” of the Nera 10 in getting their life sentences “questioned”, as opposed to overturned, some bright sparks have leapt to the bluest of blue sky thinking, speculating that Ambazonian Leader Sesseku Ayuk Tabe could be nominated VP in a deal to “solve the Anglophone crisis”. As is often the weakness with such day-dreams, the incongruities are left unexplored.

A slightly less implausible theory on the same lines of “solving the Anglophone crisis”, abbreviated as SONO, has been that the era of powerless anglophone PM’s was to be ended with in-house anglophone stooges elevated and trusted with a role in an imminent enforced transition. Thus, this theory goes, possible candidates could be current Prime Minister, Head Of Government, JD Ngute or Musonge. As with the Ambazonian angle, this one has its incongruences similarly left unaddressed.

Other “candidates” are from the North, from East, and from factions of the RDPC. Non of them solve any problems.

Why Ayuk Tabe should not hold his breath.

Mr Biya’s name is Paul and the Pope is visiting soon, but Mr Biya has not travelled to Damascus, and therefore, has not seen the burning bush. On the contrary, he has been prepared to see burning villages and homes in Ambazonia for the last decade. Nobody would make such a turn in such a short time. Precedent tells all who would listen that Mr Biya is keen to follow the France-Afrique play book to place his son.

If he was going to address the Ambazonian Liberation Struggle, he could have gone back to one of the Swiss Process, the Canadian Pre-Talks and something new with new mediators. Simplest of all, he could have ordered his militias back to their barracks and started listening to the cries.

Any of these ideas would be more credible than a cumbersome device to allow Mr Biya to personally “grant a favour” in a way that could be similarly reversed in as simple a manoeuvre. Even if it could not be reversed, it would still not demonstrate a sovereign people’s will, the very concept that has been postulated by the Ambazonian side demanding a referendum.

The whole scheme stinks of Le Cameroun c’est le Cameroun and the oft chanted slogan of etat de droit where laws are created to abuse. The “people” have zero agency in anything. Mr Biya has spent a lifetime trying to assimilate and “you cant teach an old dog new tricks”. And this is a very old dog, whose old age is being heeded.

Musonge and Ngute?

They are fifth columnists who have never done one thing in support of equal opportunities for Anglophones. How would it work for them to suddenly be standard bearers for Anglophones in a “one and indivisible” La République du Cameroun?

A paradox if ever anything was. If they could represent Anglophones, they would undermine the basis of the logic of oppression in Ambazonia. It just would not fly for want of logic. Mr Biya has not come across a burning bush even if the Pope is visiting! They are even less logical than Ayuk Tabe as a means of solving the “SONO” conflict. They have been in the system playing the role of window dressing that this idea proposes without impacting anglophones chances of equal opportunities. They would not be credible.

There is only one theory that fits.

Mr Biya is going to name a proxy, at worst or go the whole hog and name Frank Biya once he has been “legally given the prerogative” to name a VP with the privileges needed to inherit the presidency and complete a term. The conflicts have the benefit of having the “electorate” conditioned to the perpetual presence of the La République du Cameroun military cracking skulls and breaking limbs. If he needs to deal with any dissidents it will not look like something new.

He will want to give Frank enough time to consolidate and reshape the constitution to allow him to run.

What about the conflicts? They don’t matter. If anything they are useful for arguing that stability is important. Using that logic Frank would be a “stability” champion, deserving the gratitude of the republic for stepping up. He would then make deals with some Ambazonians/Anglophones, Nordists … and other factions in RDPC. The French will “help” too.

Within La République du Cameroun, the “presidential opposition” is doing its thing! Mr Osih has tabled an “amendment” to the proposed constitutional changes! There! Who said there was political debate in La République du Cameroun?

In conclusion,

La République du Cameroun needs sovereignty of its people not in-vitro interventions administered from on high by a disputed president. Even a “legitimate” president should not have the ability to uproot institutions and manoeuvre for obvious personal gain for his cronies and family. Nothing durable will come from the “historic” conference. Passing responsibility to the hapless “parliament” just stands out once more as a remote control and any intention or wish to make it appear otherwise only highlights the wish to “make it look”.

What a tangled web…